Cupid, draw back your bow...

I have a dirty little secret. One which I haven't shared with anyone else (except J) but one which I'm going to talk about here - because, let's be honest, no-one apart from Mr Jam reads this blog any more.

As you know (if you've read my blog), I recently turned 47 years old. That's a real grown up type of age, and I've been thinking that maybe I'd like to do a grown up type of thing - like find a partner and settle down. Now I know that those of you who know me will find that difficult to believe. It's not that I'm the original free-spirit (I'm not the original anything) and it's not that I hate men (although I am a little picky) but I don't have much of a track record when it comes to grown up relationships. One relationship in my late twenties (he did ask me to marry him but he drove me up the wall), a doomed flirtation with my boss (who was using me to cover up his affair with another colleague), a long period of hermit-hood followed by working abroad and falling in love with a married man... Let me put it this way, if it was a CV, I wouldn't employ me. And this combined with my spectacular ability to not fit into any stereotype (too tall, too fat, too ugly, too assertive etc.) has left me in a position where I don't think I'll ever meet anyone.

So, this is my dirty secret... I've joined not one, not two, not three but four on-line dating agencies. And when I say joined, I mean I haven't paid any money (because who knows how long I'll be in the UK - see what I mean?) but I have posted a profile and some pictures.

The response? well, to say it has been underwhelming is to overstate the case. Over the total of four agencies my profile has been viewed 7 times, no-one has tried to make contact in anyway at all and, whilst two men have marked me as a favourite (like a flavour of ice-cream?) one is 19 and the other is dog-mad. I did 'wink' at one man who promptly deleted me - fair enough but more than the standard message would have been appreciated.

And while we're on the subject of dogs, one of the sites asks for your pet hates. One man (not the one mentioned above) replied that his labrador hates loud noises and getting wet. Sad thing is, I don't think it was meant as a joke. Anyway, I'll leave the profiles up there until I know what I'm going to be doing then either suspend them (moving abroad) or pay money (staying in the UK).

But really, people, is it my age, my cynicism, my lack of coyness or the fact that I'm old, fat and ugly?