Monday, Monday

This is how I feel on Monday mornings and I love my job!

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that...

Dating, oh yes I was going to tell you about my dating experiences.

Well, I've had a date which was horrendous and I've been stood up. That's about it. I don't know whether my profile(s) - I'm on more than one site - are unappealing or too honest or even plain confusing. What I do know is that none of the men say what they mean. For instance:

"Looking for an honest woman" translates as "looking for someone who will accept how wonderful I am and never criticise me"

"Looking for someone to share fun times with" translates as "looking for a casual relationship - MUST involve sex"

"Looking for friendship and more" translates as "looking for no strings attached sex"

"Looking for a feminine woman" translates as "looking for a woman my mates will fancy (and thus envy me)"

"Looking for a warm--hearted/kind/understanding woman" (delete as applicable) translates as "looking for someone who won't notice how odd I am"

"Looking for the real thing/the one/my soulmate" (delete as appropriate) translates as "looking for my mother"

"I'm independent and looking for a woman who doesn't need to be with me all the time" translates as "I'm married and looking for a bit on the side"

"I'm a loyal/trusting/honest guy"(delete as appropriate) translates as "I won't muck you about until I find someone better looking/more interesting/sexier" (delete as appropriate)

"I'm offering something different/new/unusual" (delete as appropriate) translates as "I'm weird"

"Go to the gym several times a week" translates as "drive past the gym on my way to work several times a week"

"Like beach/country walks" (delete as appropriate) translates as "I think this is what women think is romantic - me? never been to the beach/countryside" (delete as appropriate)

and why is that men who look like something the cat's dragged home, half eaten then vomitted up again, believe they deserve a supermodel as a companion (but not a high-maintenance supermodel, oh no, she must be undemanding)?

And talking of looks, why is that the men who are most specific about how a woman should look, also the ones who post a crappy snapshot as their profile photo?

Do men really believe that women don't judge them on how they look? I mean score one for women, convincing men that looks aren't everything but minus several million to the male of the species for being that gullible.

Starting something

I have been living back in the UK for about 15 months, I've bought and redecorated a house, been working regularly and, as you will have read in my last post, finally had the house-warming barbecue.

Now it's time to actually do something.

Up to now I've spent my free time either mucking about on the computer or doing bits and bobs around the house (and occasionally combining the two). Although I've tried dating, it's been via dating websites and, to be honest (and I'll come back to that word in a later post) it hasn't been successful.

So I need to get out of the house and actually do something that involves meeting other people. Luckily, September is the month when all the new Adult Education classes start, so I have a choice: should I learn a language (not exactly my strong point, however much I want to), maybe a new skill (Chinese Brush painting anyone?), look at some self-development (coastal navigation for those nights when I can't see my nose in front of my face) or computing (because I'm not really as good as you all think I am).

No, what I've decided on is Tai Chi (for beginners, of course). Tai Chi is supposed to help you re-balance both the mind and the body - right up my street then, non? Physically, I do have problems with my balance and, especially lately, seem to be wobbling (but not falling) quite a lot. Mentally and emotionally, I am not particularly stressed but my powers of concentration are low and my memory is getting worse. Many years ago, back in the last century, I attended Tai Chi classes and thoroughly enjoyed them. I only stopped because they were in my lunch hour and that hour was regularly eaten into by work. These classes are on a Wednesday evening in Broadstairs and, with a bit of luck, I'll meet some like-minded people there.

Talking of like-minded people, I am going to join the Isle of Thanet Photographic Society (IOTPS), if they'll have me. I do like taking photos and I wish I knew how to take better ones. I subscribe to the Guardian Photography blog feed which does give some helpful advice and critique. There is also a monthly assignment (this month's is housing) to which you are invited to submit a portfolio of six photos. The winner gets a new digital camera, which is a nice incentive, but, more importantly, there is the possibility of feedback from professionals (not given personally but published on the blogfeed). I had to get up extremely early on Tuesday morning so I tried taking some photos in Ramsgate. I haven't really looked at them yet but I may make a submission. Anyway back to IOTPS, who meet every Monday night in Margate. They have talks, competitions and workshops - all of which seem right up my street.

So that's my Monday and Wednesday evenings sorted out! It all kicks off next week but don't think I've stopped my walking. Admittedly there has been a hiatus over the bank holiday week but from next week I'm moving the walking days to Tuesday and Thursday with a longer walk at the weekend - maybe outside of Thanet. I may not be the most motivated person in the world but I will be doing this - who knows, I might even lose a bit of weight.

On a final note, you may or may not remember (or even know) that I was going to yoga classes. Initially that was something I enjoyed. However, the class I was going to merged with another class and the number of people attending left me feeling lost. It's one thing for the instructor to say 'go at your own pace', it's quite another to actually try to do that and still have any idea of what's going on. The Tai Chi class will have limited numbers, if only because of space constraints, and I'll be starting at the same time as everyone else so I shouldn't feel lost.