I need a man...

I have the job (albeit not a permanent one), I have the house (that is pretty permanent) now all I need is the man. No, I'm not saying a man would make my life complete but it would be nice to have someone to talk to in the evening, make plans with for the weekend and do whatever it is couples do during the rest of the time.

I've signed up to two dating sites (I am registered on several but not impressed by most of them - their only purpose seems to be to persuade you to part with your money) and I've made initial contact with some of the men who've posted profiles. Time alone will tell if they reply (or take one look at my profile and block all further communication).

It's a bit scary really but at my advanced age, meeting men isn't that easy and this does seem to be the most efficient and effective way forward. So, wish me luck.

Oh I do like to be besides the seaside

I am glad the summer is here (even though it's been a little flighty - promising sunshine then flirting with rain). It means I have no excuse not to go out and enjoy the great British seaside.

Of course, growing up on the coast did mean I took it for granted. After all, if the beach is always there, why make a fuss about visiting it? In fact, the only time I went down to the sea was if I was with friends who didn't live near the sea. Now, having lived away from it for so many years, I see it with a fresh and more mature eye. It isn't all about ice-cream and freshly fried doughnuts (my mouth is watering just thinking about them) but about enjoying the ambiance, watching the people and then eating the ice-cream or doughnut.

Today my cousin V and I walked her dog Milo from Dumpton Gap to Broadstairs harbour, a distance of "I-don't-know-how-far" and then I helped my dad walk my brother's dogs. I was out at about midday and didn't get home until at least 6pm - my legs ache!

However, in compensation, I have been catching up on the tv I missed whilst abroad thanks to my family's DVD collection and the wonders of "watch-again-on-the-internet". The most recent total immersion experience was The Big Bang Theory. Mostly gentle humour with some extremely funny moments. A set of stereotypes turned into real people through great acting and excellent writing. I'd recommend it - especially if you have a soft spot for nerds.

Walking the dog(s)

I have become a dog-walker. Not professionally, mind, just for family.

At least once a week I go out with my cousin V and her dog (possibly the worst genetic cross of a Chihuahua and a I don't know what, which has produced a rat-dog with a mohican) for an hour around the local playing fields. Despite or perhaps because he is so small we can't let him off the lead but he has one of those extendable leads and is quite happy to run his (incredibly) little legs off.

This weekend my brother P, his wife and their two month old daughter (didn't I tell you about her? Oh well!) have gone away with the in-laws. They (my brother etc.) have two dogs - proper dog sized dogs - and had arranged for a dog-sitter who let them down at the last moment. So P called my mum and dad who agreed to look after the dogs. Now the thing is, as well trained and well behaved as these dogs are, when they are walked it's bloody hard work. The male S is good on the lead and doesn't pull but the female P... I think there's some husky in her somewhere because if I'd been on roller-skates we'd be travelling up the M2 to London right now. My shoulders and back ache from trying to keep her from pulling me over - yes, that's right, ME! - and I've had to cut all my nails off because they got bent out of shape from gripping the lead.

However, once we got to the playing fields, all was well. The dogs chased the ball we (I went with my dad) threw for them, P had a good old sniff around and they came back to the lead when called, although the walk home was just as relentless.

Now I'm not saying I like dogs, because I don't, but I can tolerate those which are either well-trained or so small I can make them fly. And I'm quite happy to walk the dog.

Monkey see, Monkey do

The next day we went to Monkey World. I have to say I was a little disappointed. Now I'm not a fool and I don't expect to get the same up close and personal in real life as they do on the tv series, but one of them main attractions is the chimpanzee enclosure which is where everyone heads immediately.

Two things, 1) the tv doesn't prepare you for the smell and 2) the huge metal barrier along the top of the fence. This photo, taken on tiptoes and at full stretch, shows the barrier at the bottom. If you are short or a child, it is very difficult to see into the enclosure.



OK, I can understand that the priority is too keep the apes safe and to prevent them from escaping (they are, after all, extremely smart) but surely something could have been done to improve visitor viewing?

Anyhow, the staff were friendly and helpful and we did get to see a lot of primates doing primate type things such as:

hanging around

grooming

and building a bed

And a fair number of non-primates doing their thing:

clinging onto mum

keeping it clean

having a stretch

and browsing for lunch

And, of course, finishing the day with my two favourite primates

Here's looking at you, Babe

So, where were we? Oh yes, at Longleat. After the train ride and the boat ride (I have never been on a holiday with my parents that didn't involve water travel) we decided to go around the safari park and see the big animals. My mum was lovely enough to allow me to sit in the front passenger seat so that I could take lots of photos and my dad was a patient driver (stop now dad, NOW!). We saw the tigers who kept their distance so my pics are a little fuzzy, and the lions whose need to sleep means they look like rolled up carpets in the photos, and the wolves - again with the sleeping! But I was finally rewarded. While casually meandering through the large animal enclosure (obviously in the car with the windows down - all allowed) we pulled up next to this lovely beastie.



I only got the one shot before it turned towards us and my dad took off like a formula one driver but, you have to admit, it is a good shot.

We're all going on a summer holiday

Over the past few months I've done a fair few things, one of which was to go on holiday with my mum and dad. We went to Longleat and MonkeyWorld (click on the links to go to the websites). Both places have their own tv series and both seemed fascinating.

I'd never been to either (although I do seem to remember a school trip to Windsor Safari Park - but maybe I'm making that up) and I wanted to go to both. My parents are fans of both and as they (the places, not my parents) are located near-ish to each other (although my parents are generally located near-ish to each other as well) we decided to take them in in one fell swoop.

First to Ringwood, a nearby town which has a roundabout on a motorway with a travel lodge or similar such establishment with attached little chef. Moderately priced, warm, clean and comfortable and situated about halfway between Longleat and MonkeyWorld.

The following day, off we pop to Longleat. Not a cheap place to visit but full of wonderful things such as:

A Leafcutter Ant made of metal

A Meerkat

The Bull Seal

The Silverback Gorilla


more later...

I'm back

Hello there.

I noticed, when I logged in, that I haven't actually posted anything since 3rd January this year. My, my, how remiss of me. I could give you a lot of excuses about how busy I was with the house (sort of true), how busy I've been with my new job (again, sort of true) or how busy I've been with my social life (not at all true) but the truth is - are you ready for the truth? - I have lacked any motivation to write. Partly that was because of all the above, and not having internet access, but mostly because I've been suffering from culture shock.

Now I know that sounds pretty unbelievable, this being my home town in my home country and my living only two minutes away from my parents, but I have had to make some serious adjustments. The biggest change has been trying to re-integrate myself into my family. Don't get me wrong, they have been delighted that I'm back and more than welcoming, it's just that, after ten years of living abroad, I find I don't have the same priorities and terms of reference as the rest of them.

For example: I don't think having a television is important (and I don't have one) which means that my main topic of conversation is not Ashes to Ashes or Lost or one of a myriad other series that have been on over the last decade. Having lived abroad, I can see the issue of immigration from a perspective other than 'they come over here taking our housing and jobs' - I don't doubt this happens but when the speaker is a lazy scrote who has never held down a job for more than a couple of weeks and thinks having numerous children by different mothers makes him a valuable member of society I have to say 'So?'.

These are just a couple of examples of where I feel I'm out of sync with the people around me. Having said that, now that the sun is shining, I am feeling more like communicating again which should mean regular blog posts and even the occasional photo.

Love to y'all