The miss-you nights...

I haven't had to teach the last three Friday evenings so I've been making the most of my 'freedom' by going into Milan, meeting some friends and having aperitivo. Aperitivo is the delightful custom whereby you go into a bar, drink cocktails and eat the free food provided - I may have mentioned this before. Of course, the type of free food varies from bar to bar but it's always cheap and filling (and, this being Italy, of good quality). For me the important thing is the meeting of friends (and potential friends) along with the inconsequential chat about nothing important. Apart from these times I do not speak to anyone in this country who is a native English speaker - in fact the only people I speak to are my students, my company contacts and my friend Ch, none of whom are native speakers (although Ch is as near as dammit).

These meetings must now come to an end as from this coming Friday I will be teaching again in the evening. I will miss the inconsequential chatter. I will miss the aperitivo. I will miss the mojitos made with a generous measure of rum.

(No) Changes

You know, I have absolutely nothing to write about. I've started work in Milan (two days a week - and I won't bore you with the details of the incompetencies of the company I'm working for, I just don't understand how they cannot know the law as it applies to the work they are doing). The teaching has been fine, if a little 'suck it and see' as regards to lesson content.

The sun has started shining regularly here which, I have to admit, is a bit of a relief. The city (Vigevano) still shuts at 12:30 for lunch which is annoying as it means I have to go out in the morning to do stuff rather than spend the time at home and go out at lunchtime (very British, I know).

Otherwise, things are unchanged (except, of course, my congrats to P who's just had a lovely baby boy).

There's a party going on around here...

This week is Carnivale here in Vigevano (it's next week in Milano) and this seems to be an excuse to dress up and throw confetti around. Now, the dressing up is done mainly by the children (although I did see one dubious young man with a long dress and grey wig on) but the confetti - I don't know. I do know that when I went out for a walk on Sunday evening the city looked like there'd been one huge wedding and I'm told that the water guns were out in force - I only saw some teenagers covered in silly string and shaving foam.

I think Carnivale has some sort of religious link, maybe the last celebration before lent? (and it's where the British Notting Hill Carnival comes from). However, there are a large number of Muslims in Vigevano and, like me, they don't celebrate Christian festivals so while there have been princesses and bumble-bees on the streets, there have also been a large number of bemused adults wondering what the world is coming to.

And this all goes to prove that Italians will use any excuse for a party!

A Hole New Way Of Doing Things

Another amazing story from Italy...

After the snow cleared (and that took a couple of weeks because it was so cold here and it would keep on snowing) my road was left with several large holes. Now, being British, I just accepted these and walked around them. I didn't expect anything to happen.

However, between going out to do my shopping this morning (at 10a:30am) and hovering on my doorstep waiting for a student (at 2:30pm) those holes had been filled - I kid you not! No weeks of warning signs surrounding the holes, no days of workmen looking at the holes, no hours of noise and smell while some work is being done - no, quickly, silently and efficiently, those holes were filled.

Sometimes Italy can teach Britain a thing or two.

To be or not to be?

Isn't is interesting how, when I finally put my foot down about work, work suddenly appears. It may be co-incidence but who know?

Banking for pleasure

Just for a change I have a positive story from Italy.

A few weeks ago I opened a bank account here in Vigevano and today I went to get my bancomat card. Of course, this being an Italian card from an Italian bank all the instructions were in Italian. When I use my UK cards, the machine gives me the option of changing the language but, logically, that doesn't happen for an Italian card from an Italian bank in Italy.

However, I went into the bank, spoke (this being a new definition of the verb 'to speak' which includes mime, Italish and hope) to a lovely woman who came with me to the machine and took me through the process - giving me time to write down the important words - so that I could check my balance and withdraw some money.

In fact, it was as pleasant an experience as I've ever had in a bank.

Infinitely flexible or stupidly varied - you choose.

Are there no limits to the stupidity of this country?

How can a country have electrical sockets in three different sizes? Do they not understand the idea of standardisation? Why is it seen preferable to have to buy half a dozen adaptors rather than change the bloody sockets?

Today I went to a bar which offers free wi-fi. It was quiet in there, in fact I was the only customer - this is very unusual in an Italian bar around midday but the reason will probably become clear.

My first problem was being able to plug my computer into the mains (it's so old that it can't run on battery). My standard adaptor (three pin British to two pin Italian) didn't work as the pins were too big. The adaptor they lent me (two pin Italian to three pin Italian) didn't work as the pins were too widely spaced. The second adaptor (two pin Italian to three pin Italian) did work - as long as you were prepared to give it an almighty shove to get it into the socket.

The second problem was connecting to the wi-fi. In theory, you make the link, put in the password and, hey presto!, you're connected. Not so much in this case. According to the woman in charge the password was nine numbers. This was instantly rejected by the network as being the wrong configuration for the password. I tried adding some spaces, still the wrong configuration. I tried typing in some of the other things written on the piece of paper she had given me. Ohhhh, it looks like it's connecting, but NOOOOO, my laptop is connected to the network but yet it is not connected to the network.

I gave up.

I would have liked to sit in the cafe drinking tea and surfing the net, updating my stuff and generally chilling out. Much as I appreciate the internet cafe, I prefer using my own laptop.

I won't be going back.

Going online, all the time

I don't really have anything to tell you. I'm working part-time, hanging out in the internet cafe (cheaper than using the key I bought) and whiling my time away. Still waiting for the other contract to come into being - I miss working - and thinking seriously about the future.

On the plus side, I now have online access to a training course to learn Italian so I'm going to try that out at home (I'm a little too shy to try it out in the internet cafe).

Money, money, money...

So here's what it's all about...

If I sign a project contract I can work as much as I want. The limit is if I remain here more than 183 days I become resident in Italy for tax purposes and must start paying into the social security system.

If I sign an occazionale contract I can work for 30 actual days, earning up to 5,000 euros per occazionale contract. If either of these limits are breached, it's the employer's responsibility (although I will pay more tax).

I can sign both types of contract at the same time. In fact I can sign more than one occazionale at the same time but if I sign too many (four/five), the tax authorities would probably decide that I am a professional and insist I operate under a Partita IVR.

I have to complete a tax return at the end of the year (Jan/Feb next year). The trick to surviving here seems to avoiding attraction of the tax office and the social security system. I can't say I'm comfortable with this but it is the Italian way!

Taxing taxes

I have finally managed to arrange an appointment with a tax consultant so that I can get some clarity on my situation. This is on Monday morning and I have a training session on Monday afternoon where I'll be expected to sign a contract (in Italian, of course) for a few hours work over the next few weeks.

I'll let you know what the tax consultant says...

Quick Update - again

Wish I had something interesting to tell you about but really nothing has been happening.

I'm still trying to sort out my legal/financial position. It does strike me as strange that you can't actually get accurate information from anyone because no-one actually knows anything. It seems that the application of the tax laws depends entirely on your personal circumstances and that it's up to you to 'get the best deal'. I'm waiting for advice from two different tax 'experts' - normally, I would only take advice from one person but that doesn't seem to be a good idea here. The trick for me will be comparing the information from one person with that from the other and making the best decision for me. To say it's stressful is to underestimate the stress I'm feeling.

On top of that I can't get my internet connection to work properly at home so I'm saving that for work only and using an internet cafe for all the fun stuff - and it's a damn sight faster, even if I'm surrounded by people for whom personal hygiene is an unknown concept.

It's been snowing here again (but not as bad as in Britain it would seem) although the sun is making a huge effort to shine here.

The teaching is fine, I love my adult students and even like the kids.

I think that's about it!

Something for the weekend?

I tried to get my hair cut the other day. I went into a hairdressers and said “vorrei (I want)” and mimed cutting my hair. The response “No capisco (I don't understand)”.

WHAT!?!?!