I would do anything for love, but I won't do that...

Dating, oh yes I was going to tell you about my dating experiences.

Well, I've had a date which was horrendous and I've been stood up. That's about it. I don't know whether my profile(s) - I'm on more than one site - are unappealing or too honest or even plain confusing. What I do know is that none of the men say what they mean. For instance:

"Looking for an honest woman" translates as "looking for someone who will accept how wonderful I am and never criticise me"

"Looking for someone to share fun times with" translates as "looking for a casual relationship - MUST involve sex"

"Looking for friendship and more" translates as "looking for no strings attached sex"

"Looking for a feminine woman" translates as "looking for a woman my mates will fancy (and thus envy me)"

"Looking for a warm--hearted/kind/understanding woman" (delete as applicable) translates as "looking for someone who won't notice how odd I am"

"Looking for the real thing/the one/my soulmate" (delete as appropriate) translates as "looking for my mother"

"I'm independent and looking for a woman who doesn't need to be with me all the time" translates as "I'm married and looking for a bit on the side"

"I'm a loyal/trusting/honest guy"(delete as appropriate) translates as "I won't muck you about until I find someone better looking/more interesting/sexier" (delete as appropriate)

"I'm offering something different/new/unusual" (delete as appropriate) translates as "I'm weird"

"Go to the gym several times a week" translates as "drive past the gym on my way to work several times a week"

"Like beach/country walks" (delete as appropriate) translates as "I think this is what women think is romantic - me? never been to the beach/countryside" (delete as appropriate)

and why is that men who look like something the cat's dragged home, half eaten then vomitted up again, believe they deserve a supermodel as a companion (but not a high-maintenance supermodel, oh no, she must be undemanding)?

And talking of looks, why is that the men who are most specific about how a woman should look, also the ones who post a crappy snapshot as their profile photo?

Do men really believe that women don't judge them on how they look? I mean score one for women, convincing men that looks aren't everything but minus several million to the male of the species for being that gullible.