On Travellers

It seems to me that there are various types of travellers:

The 'Old Hand'

Everywhere you've been, they've already been there (and had better, more thrilling experiences than you) and, god, do their stories go on and on and on.
Everywhere you're going, they've decided against because it's too commercial, too backpacker-y, not authentic enough.


The neophytes

This is the first time they've really travelled and they are doing it on daddy's dollar. They think staying in backpacker hostels is an 'experience' (daddy paid for a hotel for the first week). They travel in packs and go everywhere recommended by the guidebook. They look for others of the same ilk to compare experiences, just to check they´re doing it all and doing it properly.


The experienced traveller

You can identify these people by the state of their things. Generally aged, repaired and used (and that's just the backpack). They arrive at the hostel with food in a bag, settle in immediately and chat to absolutely everyone.


The single traveller

These are really two groups. The younger group tends to be male and is always up for a good time. He's on his own because the trip to Marbella booked by his mates just didn't excite him and he's already done the Australia/New Zealand thing but he'd still like the booze and birds experience - watch out any young female travellers. The older group tends to be female. Women who are divorced or just pissed off with the family holiday. They want to do more with their lives than the wife/mother thing and this is their opportunity. They start off being very organised, with everything booked in advanced, knowing what they are going to do at every step along the way but this drops off after a month and they start to follow their hearts. The neat, clean and tidy image falls away and the earth woman comes through (but they still believe in good personal hygiene).


The family group

This could be parents with young children or an older group of adults. Generally, the parents avoid hostels as too noisy or not particularly child-friendly. However, encounters on trips are fraught with screaming children while their parents wonder if bringing the kids was really such a good option and surely six weeks with the grandparents wouldn't have done them any harm. The parents always look knackered and the children are more interested in their video games than the natural splendours surrounding them. Meanwhile the older group of adults are very civilised with packed lunches, extra layers and a selection of guidebooks. They like organised trips as it saves them the bother but they stay away from the parents (because last year, it was them looking after the kids for six weeks while the parents took off).


The Pack

Generally a group of friends who go everywhere together. A group is at least two people (logical, I suppose) but they are always looking for others to join them. The average female group is three to five 'girls' and consists of the 'popular' one who everyone clusters around, the 'leader' who actually makes all the decisions and the 'other' one who generally does all the work/speaks the local language. No matter how many there are in the group, these three exist and are the nucleus of the group. Of all of them, the 'popular' one is the most annoying as she has no concept of other peoples' needs, thinking nothing of bursting into a dorm at 5am to wake her friends (and everyone else in the room) because if she's up so must they be. The average male group consists of four lads who think they are being adventurous by travelling outside of Europe. However, despite travelling halfway around the world they spend their time with the other members of the group, watching television, talking about football and drinking beer then going to the pub to drink more beer, act like dickheads and (if they're lucky) pull one of the girls. The lads usually spend the morning sleeping off their hangover and complaining how broke/grotty/ill they feel.

The behaviour of groups does depend on their nationality. Generally the Anglo-saxons travelling in South America are more reserved than Latin cultures but in Australia (and I would guess other English speaking countries) they are the loudest, rudest and most inconsiderate.


The Couple

This could be any combination of two people but generally these two are in an intimate relationship (as opposed to two friends travelling together). Couples travel together for a variety of reasons but mainly (if unconsciously) to test their relationship. You can tell a couple a mile off. Initially, they tend to isolate themselves from those around them, eating together, going out together, sitting next to each other on excursions, talking only to other couples. However, after a few weeks, you can see the signs of desperation as one of the couple seeks out other people to talk to. Often the other person will come and fetch their errant partner not being comfortable with said partner finding stimulation elsewhere. However, a few weeks more and both are chatting away to other people, coming together for meals and entertainment to swap stories and information. Couples at this stage can be the best people to meet because they understand the value of sharing information without trying to outdo anyone.


The techno-traveller

Again this is split into two sub-species. The first is the photographer. This person sees the world through the photolens. Generally they carry a big bag with two or three camera bodies and a selection of lenses. The problem with this is not the cameras but the bag itself. These bags have minds of their own and while you are jostling for position, they swing into action - blocking your view, knocking you to one side, jogging your elbow - while their owner lines up the perfect shot. During the 'down' part of the trip (ie travelling from one hotspot to another), instead of enjoying the scenery, the photographer is going through his shots (because, of course, everything is digital) and deleting the few that don't quite meet his high standards.

The other sub-species is the laptopper. This person cannot travel without their laptop and will select accomodation according to the availability of wi-fi. Any other media (photographs, video, sound recordings) are immediately transferred to the laptop for worldwide distribution. Interestingly, while the photographer is a solitary species, the laptopper likes to gather a crowd around himself while he exhibits his media, his laptop capabilities and his importance in the world in general. The laptopper usually has a loud and boring voice.