Stereotypes

One of the joys of getting older is that you become more aware of the behaviour of the people around you and the possible underlying motives for such behaviour.

Those of you who've known me since university days may remember Jonathon. I went to university after working for the social security for four years. I'd gone from very naive to very cynical. When I arrived at university I wanted to go back to my natural trusting nature and be open to new experiences (get your minds out of the gutter!) so I allowed the cynicism to slip away. Unfortunately with it went a layer of self-protection. My friendship with Jonathon was very destructive, I was manipulated, made a fool of and plunged into debt. I was lucky, I got myself out (by fair means or foul) and it left me wiser.

A few years later I was living in a housing co-operative and sharing a house with Martin. We weren't friends as such but Martin maintained an aura of integrity which lasted until he left the co-op owning a considerable amount in unpaid rent. One of the reasons I didn't become particularly friendly with Martin was that I recognised the same personality traits as Jonathon had. Both were very charming, extremely articulate, completely selfish and very good at discovering which buttons to press.

Since I've been here, I've discovered that two of my colleagues have those traits. I enjoy the company of one of them but we both recognise that we're never going to be best friends because I won't put my needs second to theirs and I'm not affected by silences and attempts to play me off against other people. The other one is much younger and still trying out their power. This person knows that I think they are lazy, selfish and manipulative. They daren't confront me about it (it isn't their style) but they have, on several occassions, tried to make me look stupid in front of other people. What this person doesn't seem to realise is that I'm on to them (btw the use of the plural pronoun is deliberate.)

I am a straightforward person, I believe I'm generally diplomatic and careful with words especially when tackling difficult subjects. On the other hand, I'm not afraid of dealing directly with problems - I don't sneak around. This means that most people like me and trust me, after all what you see is what you get.

The next few months are going to be fun!